Tom’s New Year’s Resolutions List for Golfers

by Dan M | Posted on Saturday, January 6th, 2018

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Happy 2018 everyone! A new year is upon us and it’s that time again
when people make their annual resolutions. I have some ideas for all
golfers out there so take a look at the short list and see if you can
attain any of these this year.
So with your hand over your heart repeat after me. We resolve:
To play for the pure enjoyment and not taking the game so seriously.
To consult with a good pro to help resolve any problems.
To choose the easy route and play away from trouble.
To learn the rules and etiquette.
To stick to solid fundamentals and stop tinkering with your
swing so much.
To cut down on swearing and club throwing.
To get into better shape so you can hit the ball further.
To spend quality time practicing and not just banging balls endlessly.
To use more club on your shots and not end up short of the green
all the time.
To relax and not tighten up.
To hit the ball where you are aiming with some degree of control.
To play the course and not your opponents.
To cut down on 3 putts.
To rake the bunker after hitting out.
To replace divots and repair ball marks on the greens.
To not blame other for your bad shots.
To allow faster players through.
To offer advice to others only if you are asked.
To have a firm but not tight grip.
To bring plenty of golf balls to the course.
To be ready to play when it’s your turn.
Next, Former late night TV host David Letterman has his famous
top 10 list. Well, I have my own top 20 list to showcase why we have
such a crazy love/hate relationship with a silly game that drives us
1.) Remember this rule: Hazards attract; fairways repel.
2.) It’s easier to get up at 6 a.m. to play golf than it is to get up
at 10 a.m. to mow the lawn.
3.) Never buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.
4.) If there is a ball on the fringe of the green and ball in the
bunker, your ball is in the bunker.
5.) If a storm starts rolling while you’re playing, you’ll be having
the round of your life.
6.) You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two
–inch branch 90 percent of the time.
7.) A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent’s luck.
8.) Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
9.) It’s surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt for a ten.
10.) When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either
hit one more club or two more balls.
11.) Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is
actually the beginning of the next group of three.
12.) The shortest distance between any two points on the golf course
is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very
large tree.
13.) Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white. They’re sold by the
dozen and you have to buy fresh ones each week.
14.) Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two
triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
15.) Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end
up having to pray a lot.
16.) You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball,
but no one can put a straight on the ball.
17.) Having a great drive on the 18th hole has stopped many of a
golfer from giving up the game.
18.) There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just
the way you meant them to play.
19.) Isn’t it amazing that a golfer who never helps out around the
house will replace his divots, repair ball marks, and rake sand traps?
20.) It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to be a
brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don’t get to ride around in a
cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs if you are performing brain surgery!
Finally, my wish for everyone as it relates to golf is that you
have a break out year and hope my column can be of assistance on your
journey to playing to your potential. I plan on having plenty of
insightful golf tips as well as some fun and interesting stories about
friends of mine from the world of professional sports, music, movies
and television who have a passion for the game.
Next week we will set sail, with a final destination being
marked improvement in all facets of your game. Happy New Year!
Tom Ward can be reached at


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